DON’T DO IT. Unless you want to.

I met up with my parents a few days ago for dinner, and my dad said that he has a friend at church whose son wants to become a police officer. He’s 18 and my dad asked if I might put together something in writing that would be of help to him in making his decision about whether to do it. I had been thinking about writing a piece like this for a long time and this seemed like a good motivator to finally do it. So thanks Dad! Here goes.

The Negative:

Short answer for you young man: DON’T DO IT. I’ll get to the rest of the title later because that’s not my final answer, but it’s my first instinct answer. I cannot wish the bad things on anyone. Here’s a partial list of negatives that you will experience if you become a cop. It might be easier this way than writing it in paragraph format.

1. You’re everyone’s favorite person to hate. You represent THEM. The people that take away rights and shut down good times. The oppressors. There are a lot of people who feel that way.
2. Everyone knows your job better than you do, because they saw it on TV or they have a friend who is a cop. And they’re not afraid to tell you that you’re doing it wrong, usually when you’re under stress and trying to do the job that they say you’re doing wrong.
3. You’re cannon fodder to everyone except your family, your fellow cops and a few concerned citizens that actually do love you. These citizens are diamonds in the rough. They do exist but don’t expect to find one. Expectation is the source of all disappointment, so just don’t. Be glad when you find one, then get back to not expecting to find any more.
4. Unfortunately the background process doesn’t weed out all the bad apples. You will encounter ethical dilemmas and corruption amongst other cops, and you may have to take enforcement action against another cop. You may then be viewed as a rat or a buddy f$%#er if others don’t know the details of the situation. If you know about something and do nothing, you may get drawn into it and get fired because you knew and did nothing. You don’t get to do nothing anymore, at least you shouldn’t.
5. Worry about doing your job professionally and correctly, not about making people like you. They don’t. Many will act like they do, as a form of manipulation to get you to do what they want. It’s fake. You have to build walls. You have to be compassionate enough to be a human being to people that need a human being in that moment of crisis, but don’t let them cross your walls. Sometimes they do and you can’t stop it, and those are the things you remember, the things that change you. But you need to have walls that stay intact the majority of the time, because if you don’t then the overwhelming negativity of the job will destroy you. Ever fly on an airplane? Remember the safety briefing: Put on your mask before you help others. Because if you’re dead you can’t help others. If you let the job kill you then you can’t help others, and more importantly you can’t provide for your family.
6. I saw a meme on Facebook that read: “Police Officer- Someone who does precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge, see also Wizard, Magician.” Never was there a more true statement. You will constantly get called into situations that took years to deteriorate and people will expect you to fix them in an hour or two. Occasionally you can really do some good. Most of the time you can’t. Remember: No expectations. But you have to act like you aren’t subscribing to the idea of not having expectations. Remember how you have to build walls? Well your walls aren’t just to keep other people out, they’re also to keep you in. You can’t share your true feelings with people because often they aren’t good. You get callous and hard and when people see that they think you’re an asshole. They’re already going to think that, but the idea is to convince them that they’re wrong and you’re not really an asshole, because who wants to call for help and have an asshole respond? Nobody. You’ll need to get good at acting. It’s taken me a long time to get better at it, I still have work to do.
7. You see a lot of death. A lot of violent death, a lot of traffic collision death, a lot of (especially these days) drug overdose death, a lot of natural death, a lot of suicide death. If you stay in the business long enough you will know someone who dies in the line of duty. It might be you that dies in the line of duty.
8. There are a lot of ways you can die in this business. You can get shot or stabbed or run over intentionally by a vehicle. You could get shot by a sniper (Dallas P.D.) and never know what happened. You can die in a car crash. You can get exposed to biological hazards that can kill you like Hepatitis C, HIV or other diseases that can permanently compromise your health. And, if you don’t know you have it you could pass it on to your family. You can get exposed to chemical agents that can kill you, like Fentanyl, chemicals in Meth labs, toxic fumes at residential and especially vehicle fires, hazardous material spills on the highway and so on.
9. There are a lot of long term hazards that you will suffer from. Some that are unavoidable and others that aren’t. Unavoidable examples include shift work and irregular sleep patterns. Working tired all the time. Spending a lot of time in a seated position. Going from a relatively relaxed state to a high stress state with the associated jump in adrenaline and heart rate, potentially several times a day for many years. Constant stress from continually encountering angry, hostile, difficult, condescending, disobedient, insulting or indifferent people. You can construct good walls, like I said, but they are never perfect or impenetrable. Mostly avoidable examples of stuff that can kill you or hurt you are poor diet, lack of exercise, repetitive motions of getting in and out of a car wearing equipment multiple times a day (the activity isn’t avoidable, but the consequence may be through appropriate exercise programs), drinking too much, suicide, failing to deal with stress effectively, and so on. Bad knees, bad back, cardiac problems, stress symptoms, PTSD are all possibilities of diminished long term health. You may need a counselor at some point. Nobody wants to admit this and it’s nobody’s business really, but when the other options are alcohol, drugs, suicide, becoming a bitter lifelong asshole or something else, the counselor (a good one that gets you) really starts to become more appealing. If you marry a woman that isn’t in the job, then no matter how good she is, she really won’t understand. Because experiential learning is really the only way people understand and empathize with others. If you marry a woman who is in the job, she’ll have the same problems you do and more, because she’ll be fighting gender stereotypes along with the other stuff, because this is a male dominated profession.
10. If you aren’t fully and completely committed to the job with your entire being, then please, don’t even bother. There are more than enough mediocre cops out there and we don’t need any more. Southern California is one of the best case scenarios for professionalism, work expectations, good training, salary and quality of agencies. Even here there are plenty of folks who should probably be doing something else. If you just need a paycheck, don’t bother. If you just want a retirement, don’t bother. If your feelings about morality and right and wrong are not clean and strong, don’t bother. Do something else. If you’re going to do the job, be a five percenter. Be that guy that does everything well and has all his bases covered. Accept nothing less. Or don’t bother.
11. Agency politics suck. Especially in a small agency. It’s an unfortunate reality of the human condition that most of the time, the people who make the policies you have to exist under do not have to work or exist under their own policies, because they don’t do your job. So people who either don’t know what it’s like, or used to know what it’s like but forgot because they haven’t done it in forever and the world changed while they were gone, will tell you what to do and you have to obey them because they’re your superiors. Another diamond in the rough personality is the administrator who was a real cop and really did the job and retains continuous exposure to it either through direct experience or constant communication with people at the front line level. Those people generally make good policy and good decisions. If you find one of these people, get under his command and never leave. The grass is not greener on the other side.
12. Face time and regular interaction with decision makers is what gets you assignments. Not necessarily skills, abilities, work performance or reputation. If you want something, you’ll have to play the game. The game sucks, so your decision will be whether what you want is worth playing the game of rubbing elbows (aka kissing asses) for. I don’t personally like it, some people do. Figuring yourself and your priorities out ahead of time will greatly assist you in deciding how you’re going to roll with this one.
13. Nobody understands cops except other cops. If you truly love the job and being a cop is who you are to your core, your friends will be other cops in many cases. As soon as you pin on the badge, your relationships with other people you knew before will change almost immediately. This depends to some extent on who your friends were or are, what they’re into and what their views of right and wrong are. The first thing your friends will say when introducing you to others is “This is Joe, he’s a cop.” Then, for the rest of the party you can expect at least a couple of questions about why some other cop did something or some insulting crack like, “I got a ticket because I didn’t have big boobs”, or “I got pulled over and the cop was such an asshole” and so on. It’s easier not to deal with it, at least at my age. Plus “normal” people do things at parties and elsewhere that you shouldn’t be participating in. Which is why you’re always introduced as “This is Joe, he’s a cop.”
14. You may be called upon to take someone’s life. Your inaction or unwillingness to take someone’s life may result in the death of a third party or another cop, or yourself. You cannot be ambiguous about this and you have to make this decision before hand. If you aren’t willing or you don’t know, don’t even bother. We live in an unprecedented threat environment. If you’re going to do it, then be extremely proficient with your weapons and equipment. If you’re not a gun person, become one. That is at least enough to go to the range a minimum of once a month, preferably more. Qualification courses are generally not good for anything other than general accuracy. Shoot multiple shot drills, multiple targets, malfunction drills, magazine changes, weak hand drills, rifle drills, application of tourniquets to yourself and others, shooting from awkward positions and so on.
15. If you have to take someone’s life, you will almost certainly be sued by the suspects family. You can expect years of additional stress and legal issues. If the person you killed is a person of color and you are white, you will be branded a racist. The news media will selectively edit video, deliberately sensationalize or deliberately create controversy because they aren’t in the news business anymore. They’re in the entertainment, social engineering and agenda pushing business. You will not get a fair shake except by other people that understand the job, namely other cops. Remember, no expectations. Don’t expect a fair shake, because you won’t get one.
16. The job will change you. You will have a front row seat for the whole sum of human depravity, dysfunction, idiocy, victimhood and sociopathic tendencies. You will not be the same person you were after even a few years in the job. If you survive a whole career, you won’t really even remember who that guy was.
17. People are more argumentative, more disrespectful, more selfish, more uncooperative, more likely to challenge authority, more volatile, more vitriolic and more often under the influence of something than I ever remember these days. You will encounter them on a regular basis, and you’ll be expected to de-escalate and put yourself in dangerous positions that are not in your best interest, rather than quickly going hands on, because the media and administrators that are beholden to them control the agenda.

The Positive:

I could probably think of a few more negatives but if I haven’t talked you out of it by now I probably won’t. In spite of all of this, I cannot think of anything I would rather do. I’ve been very blessed to have had the opportunity to do what I wanted to do since before I was your age, what I was made for. I can’t come to any other conclusion because nothing else sounds as interesting. But that’s me. It might not be you. You do get to help people, and you do get to positively influence people and maybe even change lives for the better. Some people really are grateful. As cliche as it is now, the Sheepdog analogy is a good one. Having the capacity for violence and the skill to precisely and selectively apply that violence should not result in an attitude of superiority, but in an attitude of quiet confidence and professionalism. And that’s a good thing. Society needs people who can do this, especially now. As George Orwell wrote: “We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.”

If you go to work for a big agency, you’ll have more choices in assignments and more ability to move around. With a little agency not so much. Go big or go home 😉 You’ll be safer in your own life and you’ll be able to keep your family safer not only because of skills you acquire, but also because you see what causes people to become victims and what causes people to make bad decisions. This is a great education if you pay attention to it. Many of the bad things that happen to us are the result of decisions we’ve made. The ability to make good decisions, and quickly, is a good life skill. Find an assignment you really enjoy and stay with it, or move around and change it up every two to four years. Stay educated and constantly look for your own answers and further your own education. This will keep you open minded and help reduce burnout, not to mention it will keep you smarter and help you solve or at least bandage complex problems quickly.

So that’s about all I have to say. Good luck and I hope you find your way. The job isn’t for everyone and there’s no shame if it’s not for you. But if it is, then do it well and do it right.